Dear Mr. Owen,

I’m a fan of yours. I’ve seen every movie that you have starred in and several of your mini-series for British television. As the picture above shows, you wear a suit better than 99% of the male population. If you’re in a movie, I promise to see it, even when it’s horrible like Derailed.

Why must you always play the same character? How is your character in Shoot ‘Em Up any different than the one you played in BMW’s The Driver series? While you’re great at playing the brooding-reluctant-hero-with-a-checkered-past-who-happens-to be-a-sniper, you’re extremely talented and can do more. There’s a reason why you won a Golden Globe for Closer. I state my case:

• BMW’s The Driver-you play a mysterious chauffer who carts people around the west coast in a BMW Z-3 or Z-4 Roadster. I admit the movies work. If I ever happen to be gifted with several million dollars, a Z4 Roadster (silver with a black top) is on my list of purchases.



 

• I’ll Sleep When I’m Dead: I was excited to see you work with Mike Hodges, director of Croupier, again. Adding Johnathan Rhys Myers as your younger brother was an added bonus. However, you play the reformed mobster out to get revenge. You still end up driving a sleek car and shooting a lot of bad guys.
• Sin City: Elijah Wood’s part of this film grossed me out so much that I turned it off before you came on. However, from the clips that I’ve seen, it’s another variation of the above.
• Children of Men: You don’t pack any heat in this film, but you still play the reluctant hero, tortured by the past and forced into saving mankind by your ex-wife before succumbing to your wounds just as the future of mankind is rescued. This is an excellent film but same character.
• Inside Man: Once again, you play the criminal mastermind with a conscience. This is probably the only Spike Lee film that I enjoy. You make Captain Von Trapp look evil! At least we know what would have happened if Maria hadn’t stopped by the manor with her guitar and saved the family with music, and the good Captain ended up joining the Nazis.

Greenfingers was hilarious. You should do more comedy. Closer made me hate you and want to slap Jude Law’s sniveling character.  You capture the mind of a writer in Croupier. Once you finally figure out what’s going on in Gosford Park, it’s a funny take on the British social system. You deserved the Golden Globe for Closer, but Sin City, Children of Men, Second Sight–they’re all the same role. Why don’t you play a wider range of characters?

Is there any reason that I should go watch Shoot ‘Em Up when I can pull The Driver series off my old computer? There’s even a BMW in the new film. I’m hoping that your Sir Walter Raleigh in The Golden Age is good. I loved the original Elizabeth, so please don’t let the sequel be bad.

Sincerely,

GFTS

This entry was posted on Friday, September 7th, 2007 at 9:09 pm and is filed under celebrity worship, movies. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.